Hastur The Moderatly Confused Hexblade
by darksteel ninja
Summary: The life and times of Hastur the Hexblade. Based off my real life char's. Possible lemon, i havent decided. Rated M for safety. Side effects may include laughter and your next dm's headache. Erections lasting more then 4 hours should be tended by a doctor


QUICK OVERVIEW

Yes, that's his name. I decided to see how long it takes for someone to get it. I'm also helping that recognition by having him wear a I 3 hastur t-shirt over his +1 mithral Chainmail. It also doesn't have a max dex bonus to AC, witch is good (I'm heavy on using chars with high dex, using the saying if I cant get hit, hp doesn't matter)

He has 540 hp, and please don't get into that. The dm made a house rule to see if everyone was paying attention. Or he was drunk.

ANYWAY

He is the son of vecna (think plot device, like a mercenary has a mercenary commander, I have a lich-god that aspires to be a bard, singing things like crawlllling innnnn my skii--- wiat...I don't have skin... I use him to send the party on quests because a level INF wizard/level 1 bard / level 1 dirgesinger is just funny to me.

He was born of an Elvin mother, who died at birth. She had an interesting history, and due to many, man, many bloodline ties she was pregnant for 200 years. He currently lives absolutely nowhere, adventuring with a Tiefling SpellThief/Shadowdancer (class we made up, combines sorcerer with rouge, only with familiar) named Blight Shadowbody (she is obsessed with animated dolls, and carries 3 bags of holding type 4 full of them.) She is also both my gf in game and out game) A drow ninja/barbarian/Frenzied berserker, a human monk who is bored. No, BORED with life and is following because the halfling rouge who has a odd paranoia of being set on fire (my bad, again) amuses him, and finally, the most normal one of us, bisexual aasimar soulknife/soulbow Luckdraw who firmly believes that there is a "over god" a being so powerful she can shape the very laws of physics and magic and anything else! (HINT: she calls him the DeeM) Anyway, our parties had been suffering the effects of the halfling rouge, which accidentally set fire to the orphanage ...after locking it... and thus are on the run. We are also currently trying to find out how the halfling got a third arm.

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Anyway now, the real story!

"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

The goblin guards had only a moment to look up as a flash of red and black soared above them. A moment later, the goblin noticed his partner had lost his head. He then realized what was going to happen. A moment later a blue sparkling flash left a red splash upon the wall.

"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

"Ya know...Charging the camp, riding a flying broomstick, throwing around your weapon, screaming cries of joy is NOT Subute" The small dragon said, madly bored.

"Yeah, but who said were supposed to be Subute" The man said, with a grin on his face. His hair was pushed back by the wind, and you could see the small tattoo of a knife being wrapped around a snake (AUTHORS NOTE: that was not a typo). His expression clearly said that he was currently enjoying himself, and between the Flying on the broomstick and the throwing of caltrops he had no reason to be sad. This is what he was born to do, cause chaos and generally not care about things like morality or laws or common sense. They got in the way most of the time. It's way more fun if you live without thinking. It means you're carefree by default!

"Yes, but we were supposed to draw attention!"

"No, we were supposed to cause general unrest and confusion"

"And this radical chance of battle plans isn't confusing?"

"Good point"

Humming to himself a mindless tune, he brought the broom to a sharp turn, and with a flick of his wrist, a large cloud of dust rose ad he jumped off.

With a cry of joy, a shank of a chain, and a odd red spark, the hexblade Hastur begun improvised plan L: Attack nearest think with chain that flashes blue sparks! Only differing slightly from improvised plan G: Scream random things in abyssal while hitting things with chain that flashes blue sparks, only in this one, lets you get to chose what language you scream random things in!

The chains end with the handle, specially fitted to have a spinning blade, slightly curved. The other end had a small stub that flashes red sparks, dealing a bit of lightning damage. Slightly sentient, if you'd call it that, sometimes screaming in a random language, sometimes musing that even the god's cant figures out why kids love honey dipped bread.

There was another flare up of dust, and the goblins were subject to a barrage of arrows of pure force, as a golden haired woman, carrying what appears to be a bag of glowing rocks charging into the camp, screaming a string of celestial curses, making her sound somewhat demonic.

"Catch" She said, as she tossed the bag at a camp tent. As the rocks fell out, she waved her hand, and an arrow of her mind shot out and struck the rocks. The rocks did nothing at first, and then they exploded, creating even more dust to flare up

"Hahaha" The aasimar, Luckdraw, Was having fun.

While she was busy looking at the burning tent, a small blue was upon a tree behind her. Raising his crossbow, he set his aim, only to fall into the shadows while another girl, This one with glowing red cat eyes a small snake coiled around her arm, enjoying his latest meal of blue. She smiled at the idea of jumping on her partner, knowing she could take the arrow, but decided not. She was already in the shadows, no need to get out of them. Seeing the hexblade, with his chain flailing around so brutally it ripped open a goblin without using the sharp end, she wondered why they were going through the trouble of causing the distracting the goblins so the others could surround them. He could easily solo this camp, not even needing the back up of his Familiar Bloodscale. Then again, she doubted he would go anywhere without her, his girlfriend, the semi noble tiefling Blight Shadowbody. As she slowly fell back into the shadows, she thought about their first kiss, ironically they met when she was hired to assassinate him, but she couldn't, because of two things. One was the fact that he looked soooooo cute sleeping, his face showing not a care in the world. The other was the dragon holding her down, threatening to snap her head off if she moved. Heh, good times.

Hastur was too busy to notice the skeleton approaching him from behind. The dragon resting in his bag of holding however did. In a second, the skeleton was facing a small Silver Dragon, wings spread out. In a second, the Skeleton was torn to shreads as the dragon clawed it.

Meanwhile

Blight emerged from the shadows of the one remaining tent. Looking for anything small and cute, her eyes darted arround the room. Her search distracted her from the Half-orc watcher her. With lust in his eyes, he grabbed her, making sure there where no shadows to escape to. Her screams would go unheard of, in this chaotic battlefield.

Hastur heard the scream of Blight, distracting him just long enough for a goblin to get under his defense and stab him through the chest. Coughing up blood as he kicked the goblin away, he noticed that the blade was glowing.

"Damm armor penetration" He thought, as he swung the sharp end at him, while mentally commanding the other end to come to his hand. As the chain rolled up, and the hexblade didn't even notice the goblin fall as the blade sliced through his spine.

"Bloodscale, I need you to stay here a sec"

"Are you sure you can take that guy alone"

"Yeah"

As Bloodscale leaped off Hastur's shoulder, he grabbed the spiked end. Using his mind to command it, He swung it at the tent, with such force that the blunt end sparked with led lightning, tearing through the tent like it was butter Revealing the Partially disrobed tiefling as the half orc slowly advanced on her. Enraged, The hexblade evoked the ability that was his birthright, focusing all of his powers to curse the Half-orc, praying that he find no solace in the void. The chain still spinning, He brought down his wrist, cleaving the half orc in one mighty blow. Using the chains momentum, He struck right through the Goblins nearby, watching in amusement that they actually tried to run.

Blight was slightly ashamed and embarrassed. For one, her boyfriend saved her again, and the other one was that it was all her fault for not noticing the shadow she jumped to be caused by someone. The fact her chest was showing didn't bother her, as he's seen it before. Like when he saved her life during the brothel incident...and the evil emus incident (what happens when you play drunk. I tricked a druid that an emu was evil. He got angry, hilarity ensured.) And sometimes at night. Pulling her cloak over her, she dropped into Bloodscale's shadow and appeared near him.

"Have you found it yet?" she asked.

"No, I think it might be in that tent" Hastur said, as he nodded over to the burning tent.

"Is it safe?"

"No, ill go, your hurt. Bloodscale!"

"Yessssss master?"

"Protect Blight from these guys. I'm gonna need to go into that burning tent and see if there's a pyromania halfling in there"

"Ok, masssster"

"Oh, and why do you do that hissing thing? You don't normally do it"

"Oh, sometimes I feel like hissing. Its fun.

"Perfectly reasonable. Now lets go"

Hastur whipped the blunted end, causing blue sparks to erupt from the tip agenst the goblins in the way. Blight secretly hated when he did this, leaving her behind to make sure she wasn't hurt, she hated that. She knew it was because deep down he loved her, but she knew she wouldn't get hurt. She was a Shadowdancer, for Vecna sake. Besides the occasional mess up, she normally got along fine. As Bloodscale slowly ushered her away, she sighed, and went off with Bloodscale to find Luckdraw.

Meanwhile

Hastur's Chain tore through the Fighter that tried to charge him. He almost felt sad. Almost. His chain, its job now done, wrapped around his waist, a small bit of it wrapping down his arm. Seeing the chest, he kicked it open, hoping to find what he searched for. Inside was a small bag, and in it...YES! IT WAS! He finally found that stupid key he lost. It turns out a thief took it and then the thief for killed. Either way, He was happy.

Pulling out his broom, Whistling a mindless tune, Hastur Quickly left the Camp, Picking up Bloodscale, Luckdraw, and Blight on the way out.

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Yeah. My first story to explain the backround of my character. So, good or bad?


End file.
